It was a beautiful day to head out and dance in the sun.

Fortunately for the public though, I decided to not dance in the sun but cycle down to the nearest Carl’s Jr for breakfast. That would be East Coast Park, some 15ish km away. I woke at 930, swapped out my crumbling seat for my spanking new Unicycle.com.nz Kris Holm Fusion and headed out at 1020.

That ended the ‘beautiful’ part of my day.

I reached at 1115 and was told NO MORE BURRITO.

BREAKFAST ENDS AT 1100 AND BECAUSE I’M 15 MINUTES TOO LATE, NO MORE BURRITO.

I need to emphasize that.

NO MORE BURRITO.

There.

Because I didn’t want anything fried or beef, I ended up ordering some chicken salad that contained the daily recommended calorie count for an ant.

Stupid tasteless food.

I’m making up for it by heading out for some BBQ buffet in a bit.

Because I kickass at Photoshop (much better than previously-mentioned stylist anyway), I’ll teach YOU how to kick ass at photo-editing and make you look like a movie star in ANY picture of yours. Honest.

Step 1: Open image in Photoshop. Incidentally, notice my $7500 teeth.

Step 2: In the layers palette, create a new blank layer. This layer needs to be on top of your original picture.

Step 3: Choose a pretty picture of someone else. I chose pre-weight loss Jessica Alba here because I think she’s hot and because Kee and Shaun can’t name me any hot Hollywood females. For the record, Shaun actually named Brad Pitt as a hot Hollywood female.

Step 4: Copy the picture, paste it in the new layer and save. VOILA. YOU’RE DONE.

Shaun asked if it really was possible to register my IKEA membership card under Fluffy Bun Bun.

Well, here’s what ELSE you can do -

Register and run the New Balance Real Run as Cupcake.

Here’s my emergency contact for the marathon. If I died midway, they’d have to call up my teddy bear and Cuddly Wuddly would be sorely disappointed.

I made lasagna yesterday because I like to eat. That’s about as eloquent as I am about my whims so let’s move on already. I made a seafood version because I don’t like tomato-based sauces and I quite enjoyed the version at The Coffee Connoisseur.

Here’s what I used -

• Half a bag of scallops
• 1 squid
• Some prawns
• A tub of button mushrooms
• Half a bottle of Alfredo Sauce
• Pasta sheets
• Half a slab of mozzarella
• Half a slab of pecorino cheese
• Some butter
• Salt, bla bla bla  to taste

I had no idea what pecorino was but the organic label was on sale. Parmesan is most commonly used but the pecorino was described on the package as being hard and tangy which sounds pretty close to parmesan. It’s very slightly softer than Parmesan and tastes somewhat stronger. I’d be getting this over Parmesan any day from now. If it’s on sale.

Alfredo sauce saved a lot of time but it ended up being a lot more watery than I’d like. Actually come to think of it, that might actually be due to the frozen seafood. Stupid frozen seafood.

Ok so after you get everything somewhat cooked, you chuck everything into a baking pan while trying hard not to eat half the stuff from the pan. Because half the fun of lasagna is in the cheese, you should fill the top of EVERY LAYER with more cheese. MORE CHEESE.

Then you bake it at some temperature that seems reasonably hot and that would brown the mozzarella. You bake it for some amount of time when you peek in and see that your food’s cooked.

Voila. Food.

Then you eat it. After which you take out the remaining slabs of cheese and eat them too. And then you drink some maple syrup for dessert.

Cleaning clogged print heads on my printer would make me cry except cleaning up the tears would mean smudging cyan and black on my face.

Some days I look at certain things that people are doing and feel that tinge of envy. Then, in retrospect, I remember that I turned down those same opportunities to do just those stuff because it’s stifling and they’ve lost their appeal to me.

And then I start wondering what on earth I have to be envious of since it’s my choice to begin with.

Then I get confused.

But there’s nothing cookies can’t solve.

Moral of the story: I like cookies.

So in TWO years, I’ve had TWO MRIs done, the scans of which cost almost $3000. And TWICE, I’ve been told that the cause of my ailment can’t be determined.

The back of my knee hurts when I squat or exert too much force on it. I can’t walk properly immediately after sitting cross-legged. And it’s not stiffness because it happens in the same spot on one knee and it only started after that hideous marathon run which ended with my not being able to walk for a few days.

There was never swelling or pain when a part of my knee’s pressed. It only hurts when I move my knee in a certain way. Apparently, my MRI’s clean and my knee caps (despite the many scrapes and knee-first falls) are in good shape as are my ligaments and meniscus and whatever else there is in the knee.

The doctor’s instructions were that I can continue running til it hurts and then I can return and he can determine the cause of the pain.

I ran for the first time today for about 2km in about 11 minutes. There’s a slight hint of the SAME pain after. I think I can easily replicate the pain with a 10km run.

I’ve quite a lot of spam filtered out but this one’s the best so far -

——————–
In the circle of guys I bumped into or got to know over the years
in Singapore, a number of them had “claimed” to have dated this
so-and-so model… or bragged to have dated this so-and-so
Mediacorp actress.

Listen to it (plus other valuable audios for meeting, dating and
causing HEAVY attraction to S’pore women) for just S$1 HERE:
http://www.seductionsingapore.com/secretagent